This letter may refer to “roles,” “parts,” or “inner strategies.”When this letter uses words like “parts” or “roles,” it simply means the different ways you learned to cope, protect yourself, stay connected, or stay safe.When it uses the word “Self,” it means the steady, grounded You that can listen without judgment and make choices from the present moment.These are not diagnoses or labels.They simply describe the different ways you adapted to your environment over time.This letter does not ask you to get rid of them.It asks you to listen, acknowledge, and release the job, not the part of you that does the job.
I am writing this letter to acknowledge the internal work I have been doing for a long time.
This includes roles such as:
• People pleasing• Explaining myself• Over-tolerating• Staying when my intuition signaled danger• Making myself smaller/playing safe to preserve connection• Holding hope past its expiration/due date• Imposter syndrome• Fear of success
These were not flaws.They were strategies.Initial here: _______
Part 2:
Honoring Why These Roles Existed
These roles formed because they helped me:
• Stay connected• Stay safe• Reduce conflict• Avoid abandonment• Maintain meaning• Survive uncertaintyAdd more that may show up for you here:At the time, they were intelligent responses to the environment I was in.I acknowledge this without judgment or revision.Initial here: _______
Part 3:
The Emotional Truth of Carrying These Roles
When I reflect on how long I carried these roles, the emotions that arise are:These emotions do not need to be resolved, reframed or fact checked.Initial here: _______
Part 4:
What This Way of Functioning Cost Me
What this pattern of inner labor cost me was:(This may include energy, time, clarity, self-trust, rest or peace.)I acknowledge this without blame toward myself.Initial here: _______
Part 5:
What I Needed Then
What I needed at the time these roles formed was:I recognize that I found ways to meet these needs internally when external support was limited or unavailable.Initial here: _______
Part 6:
What Has Changed Now
What is different now is:(Example: I have more capacity, awareness, support, and choice than I did when these roles first took on responsibility.)Because of this, these parts of me no longer need to stay on high alert.Initial here: _______
Part 7:
Releasing the Burden Without Losing Parts of Yourself
I am not asking parts of me to disappear.I am not asking them to leave.I am not asking them to become something else.I am acknowledging that they do not have to work this hard anymore.They are allowed to rest, soften, or step back without losing belonging.Initial here: _______
Part 8:
What Belongs to Self/You Now
What belongs to Self now is:• Discernment• Boundary setting• Direction• Responsibility for my life going forwardWhat no longer belongs to these parts is constant vigilance, over-functioning, or self-sacrifice.Initial here: _______
Part 9:
Listening to the Parts of Me Carrying These Roles
Before I move toward completion, I am pausing to listen.I am not asking these parts of me to change, disappear, or step aside.I am simply asking them to speak if they want to.I invite each role to respond to one or more of the following, in its own way, at its own pace.As I ask each question I will not think of an answer rather I will wait for a response.What are you afraid would happen if you stopped working so hard?What do you want me to understand about your role?What do you need from me now, not then?I will hear without correcting it, fixing it, or making it coherent.Silence is also an answer.Initial here: _______
Part 10:
Completion
I am completing this chapter of inner labor.Not because it was wrong.Not because it failed.But because it has done its job.I allow Self/Big Me to lead from here.This work is complete.Initial here: _______Thank you
Aftercare:
For the next 6 weeks check-in with yourself and review this letter
until you feel a shift or transformation.This may feel like clarity, courage, inner guidance, calm, trust, connectedness and curiosity.